Efficiency FAIL

This came in the mail for me today.

Let me back up. Way up. Santa brought me a new camera last Christmas. But the elves forgot to include one minor accessory - the lens cap strap. Not a huge deal and I could very well have lived the rest of my life without one - especially considering I've survived THIS long - but it would be nice to have, right? I've scoured every website and camera shop I can think of. No one sells lens cap straps. 

I've been shocked at how difficult this has been. I don't want a whole new lens cap - which I'm sure differs from camera to camera. I just want the little strap that prevents me from losing said lens cap. How hard is that? I considered putting my dear old Dad on the case and letting him fashion one for me out of braided duct tape or something -- but I held out. FINALLY, I found the top secret link on the Kodak website that lets you put in your 17 syllable secret password and it spits out a list of "replacement parts" for various camera models. Hoorah! 

Last week, I called them. I've become fairly impatient with automated customer service in my old age so I resorted to my old stand-by. Press 0 enough times - they'll transfer you to a real person. So I got to talk to Mr. Kodak. Mr. Kodak had me give him the camera model, etc. (how much customization really goes into lens cap straps...) and told me that Kodak would be more than happy to send me a lens cap strap at no cost. Excuse me? All this time and all I had to do was ask nicely and I get one for free?? Woohoo! So he takes all of my information, mailing address, blah blah, then he casually mentions that there will be a fifteen dollar charge for shipping and handling. 

Shut up. Did you say fifteen dollars?

Fifteen. 1.5. Dollars. For shipping and handling. What happened to "Kodak would be more than happy to send you a new lens cap strap at no cost"??? Well I don't have to tell you that I told Mr. Kodak exactly what I thought of his "shipping and handling" garbage. $15? For what? It doesn't weigh anything - stick it in an envelope already! I'll gladly pay the 40 some-odd cents that would take! Mr. Kodak talked me down from the ledge and explained that $15 is actually the least expensive shipping charge available blah blah UPS blah blah. 

And since I had finally found this thing I had searched for high and low for more than six months... I caved. I begrudgingly forked over my credit card number and confirmed my mailing address. I hung up the phone half expecting my $15 free lens cap strap to mysteriously get lost in the mail.

Until today.

This came in the mail for me today.

I couldn't believe it. Kodak should win some sort of overkill award. The box is clearly labeled - "Weight - 1lb". Ha! I hurried to open it, certain that they must have sent me an entire new camera - what with all the fanfare. 

Oh look! They sent me a huge ball of bubble wrap! There must be something super duper special and delicate in here!

Ooooo! A plastic ziploc big enough for Colt to crawl around in! And it looks like there's another, smaller ziploc bag inside!

And there he is. The sweet little lens cap strap I've longed for all this time. All 0.001 ounces of him.

Let's recap.

$15 and all of this:

For this:

I don't even know where to start. Do I start with the fact that if Kodak had just included the damn lens cap strap with the camera in the first place, none of this would have been necessary? Nah. How about the undertones of extortion? $15 shipping and handling for a weightless piece of nylon cord. Nevermind the blatant disregard for every industry out there spending millions to reduce their carbon footprint and improve their sustainability. Nope. Overkill. This is what it looks like.

But it's not a total loss. I do have a shiny new lens cap strap.

 

And at least I know my $15 went to good use as part of Kodak's jackass plan to stimulate the Packing Material Industry.

  

Comments

[Mom]

I think you should blame your reaction to Mr. Kodak on Crayola! Hmmmmm.......

[Stephanie Hall]

Sarah,
You crack me up. I laughed out loud reading this! Sooo true...the carbon footprint of this shipping will last long past Colt's grandchildren.

[Lisa]

I'm now sharing your highly amusing posts with my husband. He enjoyed this one thoroughly. I loved it too.

Congrats on the new lens strap

[Ed Martin]

You should have stuck with the braided duct tape, :) Love, Dad

[Laura]

I'm with Dad on this one... and $15??? That could feed me for WEEKS!

[Lori S]

This was awesome!

[Nancy Bunch]

This is a FANTASTIC post. Seriously, genius writing, my highest compliments.

It also made me realize that I don't have a lenscap strap. It would be awfully handy. Hmmmm.

[Amanda Rogers]

You crack me up! Love reading your posts...you really need to figure out how to write for a living!