This Message Brought to You by the Number 1

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18
June 2009

 

Dear
Colt:

Buddy,
today is equal parts amazing and ordinary. Exciting. Bittersweet. Overwhelming. And just plain wonderful.  Every day of the last year has meant growth
for both of us. You have grown from the 6lb 6oz lump of love that I met at
3:06pm, June 18, 2008 into the 12-month-going-on-3-year-old live wire that you
are today. And I have changed each day right along with you. I never knew there
was a Mama inside of me. But you did.

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You?ve
slowed me down. And I didn?t even know I needed that. Overnight, you single-handedly
reprioritized my life. I live for our evenings and weekends. My absolute
favorite part of the day is 7:30 – when we rock and chat and you have your
goodnight bottle in your jammies. I tickle your feet. You hold my hand. I let
you trace my face with your chubby little fingers. Sometimes I hold you long
after you?ve fallen asleep, just because I can. (And because you only sit still
on my lap if you?re asleep…)

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You
have been here an entire year. Wow. A year ago tonight the three of us were in
our hospital room, trying to figure out what to do with each other. Your Paw
was trying his best to sleep, but you and I were up most of the night ? just
talking. I had no idea what the next year would hold for us ? I was more
focused on getting through each day. Each hour! And we did. We got through each
hour and we got through each day. And then we started measuring time in weeks.
Then months.  And now? years. This last
year has meant lots of smiles, some frustration and tears, lots of your Paw and
me watching you do something ? then turning to each other with wide eyes and
shrugged shoulders as if to say, ?don?t look at me, I?ve never done this before
either.?

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I
am so proud of our little family, and my heart just bursts when I try to wrap
my head around all of the memories we have yet to make in this life.  But every day is special. The
sleep-through-the-night days, the runny nose days, the swinging in the park
days, the exceptionally wiggly and uncooperative days. Every one of them.  Sometimes we just sit and stare at you,
laughing at the faces you make as you play or eat. You are a wonder. And though
I cannot wait for the day I hear your sweet voice tell me you love me or the
day you reach up and hold my hand when we walk, I am constantly reminded that
life is short and I am enjoying everything as it is now. Every smile. Every
mess.

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Happy
birthday, sweet boy. You have brought happiness and God-sent distraction to a family
who needed it more than they realized. You are truly a gift.

Love
Mama

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6 Responses to This Message Brought to You by the Number 1

  1. Jenni June 18, 2009 at 10:06 pm #

    tearing up!

  2. Dad June 18, 2009 at 10:25 pm #

    Well said, your mother and I always suspected there was a critter in there waiting to burst forth and blossom into a bundle of loving motherhood. :) Love to you all,

  3. Ross June 18, 2009 at 10:42 pm #

    That’s cute as hell.

    No really, best blog post ever.

  4. Mom June 19, 2009 at 5:56 am #

    These are the best years……

    Love, Mom

  5. Lori S June 19, 2009 at 10:40 am #

    Thanks for the tears.

  6. Teresa June 19, 2009 at 2:00 pm #

    you made me cry. I love your little boy SO much (you aren’t bad either) I hope it only gets better and better ….which it will :) and I agree with your friend–hands down best post ever!

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