Wednesday February 21, 2007

I don’t really remember what exactly convinced me to cancel my plans to go to Jazzercise last night to meet the boys on Dickson for Mardi Gras nonsense instead… but I promise to post pictures later today.

So yesterday, I realized that it was already the end of February and I thought to myself, “my credit card bill is probably due soon, I should get it out of my purse and mail it”. So I got it out and, sure enough, it was due 20 February (yesterday).  So, I call the 1800 number on the bill and I get an automated system, of course, that requires me to audibly choose from a menu of options. Have you experienced this? The voice gives you options like “if you want to hear your payment options, say List Payment Options“. Crazy. But fine, if you don’t have a crappy phone like mine that makes random buzzing/crackling noises, that apparently sound like a human voice. The system kept thinking I was making choices because my phone is noisy. Finally! the voice said “I can’t seem to understand you, please wait while I transfer you to an operator.” Yah! But it turns out this was only the beginning of my problems…

All I want to do is give them money, right? I don’t have excuses, complaints, issues – nothing. I simply want to give them my routing number so they can have my money and I’ll be on my way. This did not happen.

I give the lady my name, account number, birthdate, last 4 digits, and first born child. Then the fun started. I tell her I want to make a payment. The conversation goes something like this:

Lady: We are not set up to take payments over phone.

Me: You can’t take my credit card number and run it over the phone?

Lady: No, I’m sorry. We can’t take payments over phone unless the payment is late.

Me: But my payment is due today. By the time I mail it, it’ll be late.

Lady: Yes.

Me: So if I call you tomorrow, you can take my payment over the phone. Because then it’s late.

Lady: We are not set up to take payments over phone.

Me: So you can’t help me.

Lady: I can help you by giving you your payment options.

Me: So, my option is to mail my payment?

Lady: Yes.

Me: But then it’ll be late.

Lady: Yes.

Me: And you can take late payments over the phone.

Lady: Yes.

Seriously.

7 Responses to Wednesday February 21, 2007

  1. icequeen097 February 21, 2007 at 2:44 pm #

    Pay it online!  I have mine set up to pay on the 15th of every month.  I love online banking.  You never have to talk to anyone. And that, really, is my goal in life: to get by without contact with other inevitably stupid human beings. Oh, what bliss that would be.

  2. PASSION419 February 21, 2007 at 3:50 pm #

    I looooove ABBA…..that’s sweet that your listening to that

  3. ChiquitaQ February 21, 2007 at 5:55 pm #

    Ha- I would have LOST IT.

  4. OLDSMAJ February 21, 2007 at 5:57 pm #

    Online banking, the only way to go…click, click, and they are done

  5. Beckola February 21, 2007 at 8:57 pm #

    I never have this problem. I pay my bills on time ;)

  6. aycenthehole February 22, 2007 at 9:40 am #

    Becky- I went to Sonic yesterday after work…paid with my debit card…and immediately pulled out my trusty $1 bill and tipped the cute little girl who brought me my SUPERSONIC #1 WITH MAYONNAISE, LARGE TATER TOTS, LARGE ONION RINGS, EXTRA LONG CONEY AND MEDIUM ROOT BEER…!!  I know that you are thinking since I only ordered one drink that all that food was for me….well, it wasn’t..!!!  Have you ever gone to Taco Bell and ordered about $20.00 worth of food and gotten one drink and wondered about the look of amazement on the face of the drive-thru person…!!!  It’s hilarious..!  I take it home and Don drinks water..

  7. Beckola February 22, 2007 at 4:54 pm #

    Keith, do you defend your eating habits to the people who bring you the food? I bet it goes something like “this really isn’t for me…”

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